I am tired of.....

...eating Zone Perfect bars!! Ugh. Especially the Fudge Graham ones. Those are Frank's. I like the Peanut Butter. But mine are gone so I've started in on his. They're too sweet. The only reason I eat them is because I have a sweet tooth and somehow feel they're better for me than a candy bar. And I can control how many I eat cuz they're in individual packaging.

...trying to figure out how to train a cattle dog. I've finally found the experts who can help me, though. This guy has trained national champs in obedience and agility. He has received awards with his own dogs, and many of his staff members have won awards with dogs. He provides feedback in law enforcement trials concerning dogs (ie police dog biting a fleeing suspect, etc,...) and he's been at this for several years. I think he can probably tackle Shadow and me, so we have enrolled in a day of assessment and training. Meanwhile, Shadow is bored. Last night, he "tackled" an empty Coke case and really enjoyed ripping it into a million tiny pieces. This annoyed Frank no end, but I was just happy that the dog found something entertaining and rather innocuous to do with himself for a few happy minutes.

...plotting a new story. This story is not coming easily. I have a hard time pre-planning a book, and I'm about to quit on this one. I'd rather do it seat-of-my-pants and I'm going to revert to that method as soon as I get frustrated enough with working on this synopsis. It stinks trying to come up with stuff before I know my characters. I've done enough work on character sheets to start and not work myself into a hole. I think I may get busy and let the story flow from them.

...worrying over what I should be doing with my needlework. My latest thoughts are, should I be doing needlework the Napoleon Dynamite way, as in, "Whatever I feel like doing! Gosh!" or should I be creating the best I can create, in the way of heirlooms? What is the answer to this??? It's driving me nuts! Heirlooms can take a while. They take years of practice, or hours of tedious sewing, knitting, embroidery. Some things are just fun because you don't have to sweat them. Pincushions. Altoids sewing kits. Bookmarks. They satisfy the need to complete things faster. What to do, what to do. And needlework was always the one thing I didn't sweat so much. Now I've decided to pour my perfectionism into that, too. As Frank said, "It's not enough that each piece must be perfect in your eyes? Now you're putting your perfecting into even deciding what to work on?"

...worrying about what to have in each room of my house, and what to throw out. It bugs me that I can't make decisions. I would like to just know what I liked and what I was hanging on to out of fear, guilt, concern. You know. I just would rather be a little more satisfied and less of a worrywart.

I hate worrywarts!! And look! I'm the worst!

Okay. Back to work on a manuscript that has me worried from the start, about *starting* it!

Sheesh. It's a wonder I ever complete *any* project, and it's an even bigger wonder that I'm ever satisfied with it once I do.

My dog is snoring. That's a satisfying sound. Oh, to just be a sleeping dog.