Life at Seventeen and Twenty-One

I can't remember doing a lot socially when I was a teenager, but my daughter sure does manage to move her car all over Atlanta with her friends! I didn't have a car. Didn't have one through college, either. I only got one when I got a job and had to drive there, and that was well into my employment when I guess my dad got tired of using my mom's Chrysler and wanted his Datsun that I'd been using back. Anyway, he bought me my own Datsun and I made my loan payments directly to him. I paid the car off after I was married. I thnk I'd had it about six months, and I guess we paid it off within a year or two. (Here is where my daughter rolls her eyes and goes, "Yeah, and you walked four miles to school in the snow. I *know*, Mom.")

I also recall, as a teen, sitting on the edge of the porch, having a TAB and yogurt or PBJ sandwich for lunch (with my cat unofficially invited) and reading. And reading. Thinking, "This is nice and boring. I wish I had something exciting to do. But since I don't, this isn't bad." And when I did get tired of that, I'd get on my bike, my tennis racket laid across the handlebars and balls in my shorts pockets, and head for the high school. I'd hit a ball against the practice wall for a while. Then I'd ride home. Hot times in Cincinnati!

My twenty-one year old hangs out in my basement now. He has a bunch of guys over and they play those addictive online video games all night long. They eat a lot of junk food, like, McDonald's at 11 or 12. Waffle House at 2 or 3am. They drink beer. They joke around. Occasionally, they go to a Braves game, or fishing, or if I'm lucky, to someone else's house for the night!

The kids both have very part-time jobs. In between jobs and having friends in to our basement, they go to their friends' pools. They eat out a lot. But to be honest, they don't spend a ton of money. They aren't big shoppers. None of us are, which is a very good thing right now.

Still, life is good. Life is pretty easy. We fill their gas tanks.

I watch them and think about when I was their ages. I didn't have many worries. Boyfriends used their gas to drive me around. I worked and had some money, and didn't have to worry about that. What *were* my worries? The occasional hurt feelings due to some silly disagreement with a boyfriend or girlfriend. Grades, a little. Weight a little, mainly because every girl was thinking about diets and stuff. The Scarsdale Diet was big in college.

We always harp on our kids to care more about certain things. To think about the economy, be responsible, get good grades, brush their teeth, eat right and use sunscreen. But I guess when they have to, they will. The time will come when they have plenty to think about, more responsibility than they can imagine, teeth that are softer, things to be zapped off their skin and doctors reminding them about the cholesterol and fat in burgers and fries. They'll find out that Mom was right when she said, "Eat in. It's better for you." But that time isn't here yet. Their gas tanks are full, their friends are calling, and Mom and Dad are just voices going, "Blah blah blah."

The biggest responsibility of all is parenthood. One day, they'll get that, too. That's when they say parents' "Blah blah blahs" suddenly, strangely, turn into intelligible words that float out from their memories. Thankfully, shut back in there with the admonishments will be the wonderful reminiscences of driving around Atlanta with their friends, chillin' in our basement and worrying about very little.

I don't wish I were seventeen or twenty-one again. I've been there. I'm a forward-moving kind of person. But I have to admit, watching these kids gives me a little nostalgic lump in my throat. It puts me back on the cool concrete porch in my shorts on a humid June day and reading an RF Delderfield saga. I'm sipping TAB and going, "I wish I had something exciting to do. But since I don't, this isn't bad."